Poetry - Triggers

Words like hail pour into my head, busting out every other thought coming into my mind. My protected gates now wide open what can I do to stop the floods of memories coming into my awareness. 

Then you are there holding me close to you. Your hand is caressing my face, and I know nothing has changed. 

I still love those lips and kisses so soft and tender yet...

I suddenly feel dizzy, weightless, and breathless. 

But your lips released evil meditations into my soul.

Each word hammering deeper, and until I did not have the strength hold you back anymore. 

Your words are crushing every shattered piece of happiness I had left until I couldn’t stand. 

I laid on the cold bathroom floor night after night.

Hot showers to make the words burn off me.

Surely the heat melted your words off of me because hell is where you came from. How could I love hell. Belief in somehow, there would be some change in me and you if I could rid myself of being unclean. If I scrubbed enough, the bruises would be gone. Like the blood that filled my mouth, and the wall I was thrown against would all suddenly drift away. Hot water tonight would purify, and steam would smother the shell of what was left of me once and for all. 

I sat up in bed with the sweat-drenched sheets gasping for breath. I shut the door and locked it tight on those memories once again.